Off in my own world.....

2005-04-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

hello and goodbye my friends. im off to the world of magic....Dineyland. i shall miss you all!

2005-04-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

wow. spring break is long gone and the end of the school year is commin' up fast. i cant belive it. i really cant. i dunno. i want the summer to come. but then again i just dont. i love seeing all my friends everyday and being able to hang out and stuff. and...over the summer, everyone goes on vacation and leaves, people move, and its sad. but then there are the times when we all get together to have huge parties at eachothers houses. it should be fun over the summer. i guess what im trying to say is that im just gonna miss being at school. a lot. ive had sooooooo much fun my first year of highschool. its been an AMAZING experience. it really has. and Ill never ever forget it. well im done with this post. its starting to make me depressed. later freaks.

2005-03-25T06:57:00.001-08:00

man. i cant belive that spring break is already HERE! its crazy. this year has flown by so freakin' fast its not even funny. it seems like just yesterday that i was here in my homeroom class looking at my schedule trying to figure out where my classes where. when people tell you that highschool goes by super fast, theyre not joking. its kinda sad really. its like. i dont even want to grow up. cause these days, this time in my life at this age, i love it so much. i love being at this age. its my favorite yet. ann i know that its gonna be so awesome when im able to drive or when i graduate or get married. its like, its all comming up so fast even though its years away. but its not like i dont ant anything good to happen in the future, cause i do. i just dont want to come so quickly. and people might say, thats 4-5 years AWAY! but look at how fast one year has gone by. look at how fast the months go by. i mean, you're in class one day, and you right 3-2-05, and then it seems like 2 days later you're already writing 3-24-05 across your paper. time is slipping away in this freshman year. but look at all the fun that weve all had. from rallies, to waking up at 2 in the morning for posters, to poster parties, spirit shows, from birthdays int the band quad, to christmas presents in december. it all seems like just yesterday. being a freshman has been amazing. and EVERYONE in our group has done a part in something to help out this year. well i dont want to start crying, so i think im gonna end it here. Ill talk to you people later. peace out.

2005-03-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

2005-03-17T06:06:00.000-08:00

daaaaaaaaaaang!!! finally i have time to make a post. no one really writes on these things anymore. its all about myspace now. ya. if you dont have one you should get one. theyre awesome. well today it St. Patricks day. it came hella fst. this whole month has gone by like ::VROOM:: hecka fast. it feels like we were just in january. anyway. colorguard has started, and marching band starts soon. my grades need to get better though. i dont wanna get kicked off the team. they would be screwed. and i would be pissed. well this week is spirit week, and so far, frosh have the best posters, but everyone says the sophomores show was better then ours. today is seniors day, and theyre gonna win it all. we saw them rehersing for their show, and its gonna be totally awesome. their posters should be pretty cool too. anyway. not much to write about. if you're bored then go to my myspace. and check out everyone elses while you're there too. im out. later you freaks.

2005-02-26T19:24:00.000-08:00

freakin' a. like no one rights on there blogs anymore? anyway. last night i went to a Paredimshift concert. all i can say is that it really fucking rocked. Brett took me, it was in Crockett, so it took a little while to get there, but it was hella fun. i hung out with all the guys in the band, and i was like their little roadie for the day. while they were playing, everyone was moshing and cds were getting thrown into the audience t-shirts were flyin' everywhere. it was awesome. and after they were done playing, everyone was trying to get onstage, but they werent allowed to. and then Brett told me to come up, and i felt all special and stuff cause everyone else was all jeleous. =) i got to carry all the guiatars and help them move the HUGE amps. it was so fun. and then we all went to Mounatin Mikes afterward to get fat off pizza! it was great. we left at like almost 11. and i got home at midnight. im hella gonna start going to more concerts. they are WAY to much fun to miss out on. well im going. i might go and see a movie tonight with Mac. well Ill talk to you people later. oh! and those of you who have a myspace, go and leave comments on my new pictures. peace.

2005-02-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

dang...Vonas party was hella fun! we got like, 5 hours of sleep, but it was so worth it. from Anthony singing karaoke, to all of us liftin' each other up to the ceiling. it was hecka much fun. anyway. im super tired, but im about to go shopping. my mom won 700 bucks last night, so shes gonna give me and my sister each 100 dollars to go buy stuff with. how fun. but ya. my dad is being dumb. i hate when parents get mad at you for nothing you did wrong. anyway. im done. later people.

2005-02-13T08:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to myself, Happy Birthday to me. i cant move any part of my body. and i have a cold and strep throat. what a great birthday. i cant go near anyone, and i cant kiss my boylove on Valentines Day. some birthday huh? ok im done here.

2005-02-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

ohhhhh man. last night was HELLA much great. i went over to Beccas for like 3 hours, and Mac came over to her house for like 5 minutes(it was a good 5 mins. haha) and then me and Becca were playing with the puppies for a little while, and reading magazines, and ya. jsut talking. but then.....we saw her mylar ballon floating up in the corner of her room, and we both got the smae idea. we looked at eachother and grabbed the balloon hella fast nad made a small hole in it. and she told me to take some of hte helium first, but then i told her to doit. and we both had never done it before, so we didnt know if it had a taste or not. anyway, she took some first, and said, 'i cant talk' and it came out soooooo freakin' funny! we were both hella laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes, and then i took some and ya. we were just hella sayign random things. and then the second time i did it, i started to sing empty apartment, and it was GREAT! hella funny! someone better get my balloons for my birthday so i can do it at school. well im done woth this post. im about to go over to Janees in a little while. and that should be fun. so ya. im aboout to go and rock out. peace people. peace.

2005-02-02T07:17:00.000-08:00

i hate common planning days. i think they suck. we go in later, and have shorter class periods. and then we get out later. wats up with that? anyway. i can barely walk cause stupid Mr Deponte made us run the mile yesterday. and i ran hella much, and didnt stop. and when i woke up, i could barely get outta my freakin bed. but ya. my birthday is commin' up, and i have have no clue what i want. money would be nice. cause then i could get my digital camera. thats really the only thing i want. so can take hella pictures at school and when im just hangin' out wherever. its gonna be cool. well i have to go and get ready. great. im so excited. Ill talk to you people later. peace.

2005-01-28T15:02:00.000-08:00

today. it was an ok day i guess. coulda been better. but it was good enough. its friday though, so i should be happy. but im more excited about tomorrow, cause i really super duper hope that i can go with Lin to the winterguard show. it would be so awesome. i was looking forward to it all day. so i hope her pater says its ok if i go. cause ya. ive never been to one. ya, we had a rally today, and i only stayed for like 5 minutes, cause Mac was taking pictures of everything for Journalism. cause hes the little picture dude or whatever. but while i was there, it seemed like everything was all good and stuff. i heard the floats were cool, and freshmen won second place so that made me happy. whoop whoop. class of '08! anyway. im gonna go eat. cause when us girls are in RENO....we eat! well at least i do. so ya. im out people. peace.

2005-01-23T18:59:00.001-08:00

Encounter. it changed my life FOREVER! the feeling that had come over me, i had never felt in my entire life. but it was the best feeling in the world. God was there those 2 days. and i knew it. we ALL knew it. cause we could all feel it. we could all feel Him. the first time we went up to worship on friday night, something came over me. and i felt....well...you cant describe it. its indescribable. it really, truly is. i started balling my eyes out. the tears just fell from my cheeks. and as i glanced around me, i saw all people crying. the boy standing next to me, my age, or one year older, had a smile on his face and tears on his cheeks. Michelle, Bry. i looked around again, and was AMAZED at how many people God had just touched. it was such a beautiful thing. a...a wonderful thing. it was great. my life is changed forever. and im so proud of myself, for getting saved that night. i felt like a new person. cause i am. when you're there, in that room with all those people, you can actually feel the presence of the Holy Ghost. its amazing. ive never felt so great in my life. on saturday night, when we went back to the service at 7, one of the pastors had asked, 'how many people dedicated their hearts to Jesus these past 2 days?' and i looked around. then i looked at Michelle, and she said, ' raise your hand' so i did. and i raised it high. and only 2 other people raised it with me. out of about 90 people. then he told people to go over and pray for us. so 5 people came over to me and layed their hands on me and started praying. and i felt so.....so special. and after they had prayed for me, the man that had his hand on my back said, ' now i wanna tell you something, im getting a message from God right now, and He wants me to tell you you're precious. He wants me to tell you that you're The precious One. and He said Jessica, that He will lead you, and guide you. and all you have to do is keep your trust with Him. ok? just trust him.' and then i said. ok. and from that point on. i knew my life was different FOREVER! i never knew that God actually wanted to ever tell me anything! and now i know that all i have to do is listen for Him when im in need...cause He'll be there. always and forever. He....will be my best friend forever. and that my friend, is the type of person i want to know for the rest of my life. and i just wanted to tell you guys that you should all go next year. cause its a life changing experience. Ill talk to you guys later. peace.

2005-01-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

well well well. its been quite a while since i have last posted. but no one is really updating so ya. i update my myspace a lot more then this thing. im so bored. and i absolutely HATE the weekends now. i never do anything and theyre so freakin boring! its crazy. ive played my guitar so freakin much that i can barely feel the tips of my fingers. but what the hey? its addicting. i cant ever stop playing. well finals start on wednesday. crazy huh? i cant belive the 2nd quarter is already here. but ive been studying like crazy cause finals are SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT!!!!! yes. if im gonna ace any tests....its gonna be these ones. hopefully. but anyway. were not gonna get to go snowboarding for michelles birthday like we were going to, cause ya. i dunno. but im bummed about that. and i highly doubt that were gonna go to LA. but oh well. just keepin my hopes up. im hungry. so im gonna go and find something to eat. later.

2004-12-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

so sorry guys. the party has to be canceled. something came up. thats all i have to say.

2004-12-25T20:31:00.000-08:00

NEW YEARS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!

where: my house
address:137 Breakwater Way
time: 6pm to whenever were done partying!
whos commin? everyone in our group(you all better come! haha)
phone #: 448-8350
if you have any questions for directions, you can call my house.
and please bring somethin'. chips, soda, lumpia *ahem*, desserts, etc. cause theres gonna be
lots of people here. and No Good Gracie will be rockin' the house again. for 'entertainment'.
so ya. Ill talk to you later people. peace out for now. and please RSVP. thanks.

2004-12-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

ya boy. this is one of the best Christmas' ive ever had. i actually got everything i wanted. and more! of course i got my new guitar. and its freakin' amazing, i love it so much. and i got a pair of Uggs. and theyre so freakin' comfy. got 3 new cds. and 3 new dvds. tons of new patches and pins. awesome clothes. and ya. lots of candy. i made out like a freakin bandit man! haha. anyway. i hope all you all people had a good Christmas too. and remeber that im having a HUGE ass party at my house on new years eve. it starts at 6, and ends at...well umm.... lets just say were gonna party all night long! haha. ya. and the girls are sleepin' over. as for thae guys. ya'll gotta go home! lol. sorry. but anyway. im out. and Ill talk to you people later. peace.

2004-12-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

yay! im so freakin' happy. i got to see Mac yesterday and on wednesday. it made my whole freakin' day. now Ill be happy for the rest of the break. ya. it was great. i missed him so much, i was getting sick. and he said he felt the same way. now im all better ^_^ and i cant wait till Christmas and New Years. its gonna rock. and for all of you that dont know, im throwing a huge new years eve party at my house for all you people. haha. its gonna rock. and No Good Gracie is performing. the girls can sleep over...but the guys gotta go. haha sorry. were gonna party all night long. its gonna be so much fun. so RSVP and call my house. 448-8350. peace out my people.

2004-12-22T09:00:00.000-08:00

2 month anniversary....... ^_^

2004-12-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

break sucks. it really does. i have been doing absolutley nothing these past few days. and i dont expect it to get any better. unless Mac calls. and he hasnt yet. cause i know his mom is being an ass about everything. and people think its easy for us to communicate, but its not. if i call him....he gets in trouble. and if he tries to call me and gets caught....he gets in trouble. so its hard. and his parents rarely leave the house. so blah. and us trying to see eachother?!?! its practically outta the question. except the fact that i promised that me and my mom would 007 him outta his house and to the movies with me. but im just waiting for him to call. and he promised that he would. and i know he will. but im still waiting. everytime that phone rings, im the one to answer it. cause ya. well anyway. if you wanna hang out. call me or somethin'. Ill talk to you people later. peace out.

2004-12-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

the concert was freakin awesome! we kicked ass and rocked the house! if you wanna read more, go and read my myspace post about it. cause i g2g to bed! talk to ya people later! peace out!

2004-12-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

oh man. winter ball was soooooo much fun! it was totally awesome. and couldnt have been better, well...maybe if Mac was there? i dunno. anyway. we were all breakin' it down on the dance floor. almost all of us. ahem*casey*cough cough. haha. im just kiddin' she was with her boylove Kel. and it was HELLA hot up in there! damn. we were all hella sweatin' and shit. it was pretty gross. and then....everybodys feet kept gettin stepped on. like every 5 seconds. and then someone like literally stuck the heel of their shoe in my foot, and it was like bleeding everywhere and shit. it hurt hella bad! but i still kept dancing. haha. i slow danced with Michelle, Vona, and Jen. it was hecka funny. lol. we all went out to eat at Mels diner afterwards too. it was me, Michelle, Lin, Jeena, Becca, Taniela(however you spell her name! haha) and Brian. there were hella people from the dance there. it was cool. and people kept comin' up to us and askin why we were all dressed up. and we got to see a guy chug 2 bottles of Tabasco sauce! it was freakin awesome! haha. but ya. i think the people who didnt go missed out cause it was a lot of fun. well im gonna go now. im a bit tired. so bye for now. peace.

2004-12-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

yep yep. i got my piercing done yesterday! it is sooooo super duper awesome! and to tell you the truth. it didnt hurt when i got it done. it felt like someone was just pinching my ear really hard. and thats it. but let me tell you. it hurts like a little bitch about a half an hour later. chyeah. and i didnt take any Tylenol. oh well. Ill live. but it was so worth it. now i cant wait to get my next one! haha. theyre so addicting. im not even joking. its hella expensive though. but ya gotta love em. Lin went with me. and then we went and saw the Incredibles. and we saw Cory and Shoe there. but we didnt say hi cause we were freezing cold. but the movie was hella good. and we went to the mall today. and then went to some persons house for like an hour and a half. it was like a friend of the family. and then i came home. and here i am. typing away.a nd i cant wait to go back to school tomorrow. yay! and oh no. im not joking. so ya. that was my weekend for ya. im gonna go now. and do my hw. and listen to Josh Groban. im so getting his cd. haha! alright. leaving. peace!

2004-12-04T07:10:00.000-08:00

hey people. well i thought today was gonna be totally boring, but guess what! im gonna go get that piercing i wanted done today! woohoo! the piec right inside of my ear. its gonna hurt like i a little bitch! but guess what. its gonna happen really fast, and im gonna love it! im hella exited. and ya. thats basically the only thing im gonna do. it will be the high light of my day i guess. ummm. nothin else to write about. i mgiht go see Alexander with my latin class tonight. who knows. i gotta find sumone who wants to go though. i know i know. what kind of doer goes and sees a movie with their latin class? haha. me. cause i have nothing else better to do. so there. well im gonna go. will talk to you people later. chow.

2004-11-30T16:59:00.000-08:00

wow. i cant believe winter break is right around the corner. way too long of a break for me. but oh well. school is goign ok. my new math teacher is hella dumb. ask anubody in my class, and they will all tell you that she has no clue what the heck shes talking about. wierdo. i cant wait till winter ball! its gonna be loads of fun. were all plannin to get a limo, but we gotta see if its all gonna work out. and bits and pieces is also cummin up. no good gracie is trying theyre best to prepare for it. will post later. peace.

2004-11-28T19:42:00.000-08:00

yay! back to school tomorrow! i havent seen like ANYBODY in hella long. if you really think about it, 5 days is quite a long time. but im not looking forward to doing homework. oh well. i get to meet my new math teacher. and im hoping shes nice and knows what shes doing cause i dont wanna fail this class. but ya. im hella tired. i went to Monterey today and it was hella fun. im really tired and i dont feel like writing that much. so Ill talk to you people tomorrow. much luv. peace.

2004-11-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

hey hey. well yesterday we had a competition in fairfield at TOC. colorguard did hella good, and we were hoping for sweepstakes, but we ended up with first. and that aint to shabby. im hella tired, but i woke up at 5 this morning. havent been sleeping good the last week. waking up every hour. in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep. it really sucks. t does, and then when i get to school, i feel like shit. but whatever. my elbow is feeling a lot better, and we got te x-rays back friday afernoon, and they said that my nerve was hit, and that it was good that i rested my arm for a couple of days, or i could hae inured it more. so thats good. im happy that i didnt crack my bone. ummmmm. nothing else really to say. Ill talk to you all tomorrow at school. peace.

2004-11-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

hey my people. how ya been? ummm.... today went well. ive had lots of tests and quizzes at school, and its driving me crazy. but we all gotta take em. so there. colorguard is doing good. weve had like competitions cummin outta our freakin ears man. every single saturday. but you gotta admit that they are hella fun. and we got our last one for this season this saturday. and at practice today, i got a letter slammed into my elbow, right into my nerve, and i dropped my letter, caught it with my left hand, and just looked at my right arm which was completely limp. i couldnt feel it for about 25 minutes, and it still hurts. i have to go to the hospital and get x-rays done, cause my mom said that it shouldnt hurt me the way its hurting me know, and that it should already feel better, but it doesnt. and they think that i might have chipped a bone in my elbow. joy. back to the hospital again. well thats it for now. i gotta go and eat dinner. chow people.

2004-11-08T17:42:00.000-08:00

wow. geeze. what a day. i havent been this sad all year long. i just wanted to cry, but i didnt. i know that so many people dislike me, but there are those who dont. and i know that theyre there for me. and im over all this shit. and for people to say that there is no drama in our group? that made me laugh, cause if you really think about it, we have gone through so much of it through out these last few years. and people say i left for Mac? well actually, i figured that ide just leave the group cause everyone seemed better off without me, so i figured i was saving all you people trouble. but no. even when im gone there has to be conflict. if im there, or if im gone. i still get blamed. so why not just forget it? and this whole group thing. ya know, we actually do have other friends, and i dont even know why people are like, your in, or your out. lke, what the hell is that? who said we all couldnt just be friends with who ever we wanted to. i mean thats like 4th grade shit. its almost like saying, whats the password? im so done with all the yellimng and fighting. its so annoying. so, instead of everbody trying to yell at me to get out, or try and act like they want me there, why dont i just leave? it makes so much more sense. and people telling me, your changing. ummm. last time i checked, the only thing i ever did with any guy was a hug, kiss, and holding hands. now. um. others, ya. so i dont really do anything different, and HAVENT done anything different. just cause im closer with Mac then any other guy ive dated this year, doesnt mean im changing. people can state there opinions, and if they think its gonna cause drama, keepit to yourself next time. and just shut the hell up.

2004-11-06T20:47:00.000-08:00

ya. well this weekend is pretty boring. well lets just say, that when you have friends that hate, and yes i mean hate you, for no aparent reason, and talk crap about you to your other friends, it really hurts, badly. and tears come to my eyes. im not joking. i didnt do anything to them, and they just go and hate me for unexplained reasons. and then they go and talk to my other friends about me, and at least those friends have the heart to come and tell me whats going on. and it makes me very sad to know that some of my friends are doing this to me. but i had a talk with an adult today, and it made me feel a lot better. sometimes you just need to forget about what others say, and not waste your life on stupid shit that brings you down. and thats exactly what im going to do. not listen to anything they have to say, because im not gonna be brougt down like they want me to. im not that easy. so ya. other then that. everything is good. peace my friends.

2004-11-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

hey people. well, today was ok. the only reason i went back to school was to see Mac, and everybody else. so ya. but i really wanted to see Mac today. and then when i get to school. he tells me some sad news, but i just hope that we can work through it, and ya. i know everything is gonna be alright. but ya. other than that, colorguard was a little rough today. it was super duper cold, and at the beginning, our work wasnt all that clean and we kept gettin yelled at. soooooo. we decided to fix as much of it as we could. haha. and some good news is tha i found out that we didnt have to go to Berkley if we didnt want to , and i was like, YES!!! thats awesome. hopefully i can make plans for somethin else. well i gotta go and do hw and play guitar. Ill talk to you people later. peace!

2004-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

hey. well all i can say is that last night was great. ya. me and Mac were gonna go to the movies, and just try and get some alone time there, and i know what your thinking, 'oh so they can just make out like every 5 seconds' no. thats not why. people dont understand how hard it is for us to hang out by ourselfs. i mean, were together at school, but were always hanging around our friends too, and thats not a bad thing, but what im saying is that, we never really get any time by ourselves to just talk. yes talk, all humans do it. and last night at the football game, me and him were there to get away from everybody for one night, just one night to be by ourselves together. and we couldnt go to the movies, cause we couldnt find a good time to go, so we decided to go to the game together, just us two, kinda like a date. to be alone, and just talk. so ya. thats why i didnt feel like being around 1000 people last night, cause me and him just wanted to be alone. is that so much to ask? and the way people reacted to it, it kinda hurt. i mean, just cause i didnt hang out with them for one night? and they get all pissed at me? well sorry i have life? damn. and it almost ruined my night, and Mac told me not to worry about it, cause the time we had together was rare, and we didnt get to be alone often. and that changed my thoughts. people putting words into my mouth, and choosing my actions for me? what the hell is that? saying,why did you just come from over there? were you making out in the corner? what were you doing behind the bleachers the whole time?' ya know, and it hurts to know that your friends cant even believe you when theyre the ones who dont know whats really going on. but i didnt let it ruin my night. i knew what the truth was, and thats all that mattered. so there. maybe next time they will actually believe me when i say all we were doing was talking like normal human beings. and you can believe what you want, but thats your opinion. well, im out. Halloween is tomorrow, and that should be bunches of fun. bye.

2004-10-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

all i can say is that. boys suck!

2004-10-24T08:54:00.001-07:00

ya. last night. awesome. thats all i can say. people said the dance was boring, but being there and getting to spend almost 3 hours with Mac was awesome. i had lots of fun and slow danced a number of times. i havent been that happy and smiled that much in a long time. it felt REALLY good. so ya. i had fun, and i didnt think that it was that boring. tomorrow i have guard, and after that i might go to the movies, yup. um....thats about it. i gotta go get ready to go to church with Michelle. im suppossed to leave in 15 minnutes, and ya. i just kinda woke up. so i gotta make this fast! lll talk to you people later! chow.

2004-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

2004-10-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

ya. i didnt get to finish my post last night cause it was 'too late' it really sucks, its like, i cant even do what i used to do cause i have to worry about all this shit now. and some people know about my issues i have with worrying, but we wont go there. but lets not talk about the negative things. lets talk about the posative things. and how great last night was. i mean, im actually happy. like, REALLY happy. and i havent had this feeling in a long time. god im so freakin happy, i wanna smile for the rest of my life, but with my injury i have right now, it wont work. but i can smile sooooooooo big on the inside. i wanted to cry last night cause.. cause...i dunno? like it was a happy cry. it felt good. and now that my spirits are totally up, i stopped worrying about my siezure i had, and what people say about me. because really, i dont care what they say. cause now, i feel like last night, someone actually taught me not to worry, and that they would be there for me, right by my side.....whenever i was i trouble. and when i heard him say that last night, i was so happy. just knowing that even though i went through all that shit on wednesday night, that people didnt care about that, they cared about making sure that someone was there for me when i needed them. so ya. Mac made me really happy last night. and i feel so great. oh! and im sorry that im not gonna be able to make it to your party tonight! Ill talk to you guys later. im out. peace!

2004-10-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

hey people, havent updated this thing in forever! ya i know, but ive been busy. ummmm. lets see. tonight i went to the football game, and it was really fun. everybody was there, but i wasnt even gonna go to this game. the only reason i went is because Mac was going, and ya. we hung out the whole time and had fun. im suppossed to go to a dance tomorrow, so ya. that should be fun. and im afraid to go to sleep tonight, cause im afraid that im not gonna wake up. like im gonna have a siezure in my sleep and then die. its not funny, and people laugh at me now. i act like im laughing with them, but really, it hurts. a lot. it was very hard to go through that, and now i have to be carefull about certain things for the rest of my life. whatever. just try to lay off on the jokes guys. it would make me feel better. im out. peace!

2004-10-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

it didnt happen. no one knows for sure what went on. were all just waiting for the truth to come out. maybe they did come? maybe they didnt? no one knows for sure. we just have to wait and see.

2004-10-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

oh. my. god. its really happening. Blink is on the road right now, and they should be here in about 5 hours. i never thought in.....well forever, that dreams really did come true. i cant believe this is happening. i used to never even dream of being able to play guitar. i dont even remember how i got started. and then, forming a band was the coolest thing on the face of the earth. sending a demo cd to a producer that used to be totally famous, having him like it and wanting us to go down to LA and record a cd was a dream come true....well thats what we thought. but this? opening for Blink182? its amazing. i was shaking as i talked to Michelle over the phone. i cant believe it. do you know how many kids are out there that want to form bands, or have bands and want to be famous and write songs and send demos to people? "being famous" ya, we used to not take it seriouly. and most people our age that have bands dont. they just say it to say it. "were gonna be famous" but really. i want you guys to think about this. how many 14 year old girls have rock bands that get their demo cd's accepted, and thewn get to perform in one of their most alltime favorite bands? its shocking how lucky we are. and i mean, thats not even it. after the football game is over, im not gonna be leavin in my daddys honda, me, Michelle, Casey and Becca are all getting picked up in an escalade limo. how freakin cool is that? i mean, from our highschool football game? and i didnt think that i was gonna get to ride in the limo. haha. YES!!! and then, were freakin spending the night, with Blink182 at the rich ass mansion house!!!!!!! oh my god!!!! its crazy. its a miracle. its a dream come true. cause were gonna spend the day....WITH BLINK 182!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahhhahahahha!!!!!! well i gotta go get ready. and before i leave. i would like to thank ALL of my friends that support No Good Gracie. cause without you guys, we would be nothing. thanks. Ill see you people tomorrow at school. or better yet, at the concert!!! peace out.

2004-10-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

ya. well i might as well update. ummm. yesterday was our first competition, and we surprisinlgy won first in colorguard. i was proud of everyone. but some people said we didnt deserve it. well thats their opinion. and its not mine. so ya. the band won first in marching, and the drumline won second. so for our first review, we did pretty darn good. ya. im goin over to Michelles house today to practice for the concert, then goin over to Amandas, then back to Michelles. so ya. thats pretty much my day. nuthin really to do right now. im not really tired anymore. but ya. Ill talk to you people later. peace out. chow!

2004-09-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

hey guys. well i told you i would talk to ya at school today. but guess what im not there! haha! ya. im at home. trying to see how many movies i can watch in one day. but i did really want to come to school. i did. well im goin to colorguard cause competition is this staurday. but ya. i really did want to go to all of my classes today. its a long story. but im fine. ummm. i g2g cause im not even suppossed to be on the computer. talk to ya people later! bye!

2004-09-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

sorry i havent updated but ya. oh! i found my necklace! yay! freakin Becca had it. little brat! just kiddin. but she freakin had me scared to death. i was so sad. i prayed to God so many times that someone would return it to me, and someone did! have faith people! haha! but ya. all weekened i was workin on the freashman float, and it did get stressful at times, but most of the time it was hella fun. and as everyone knows. yes, i am goin out with Brian A. and all of you that didnt know that well.....now ya do! well im out. im hella tired. Ill talk to ya people at school tomorrow! chow!

2004-09-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

hey guys! i lost my necklace! its the one i wear every single day. if you found it, please return it to me as soon as possible cause it meansa a lot to me. i was crying because i lost it. so if you find it, tell me. thanks so much! im out. bye!

2004-09-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

hey hey. well. these last couple of days have just been....not so good? i guess you could say that. Friday: it just plain out SUCKED! i hope any day of the year is not as bad as that day was. the football game was ok. but it still sucked cause plans had changed. Saturday:well, this day has sum good to it. i got my hair totally cut into a drastic style, and it rocks, but i was suppossed to go to the movies with my aunt, and i didnt. Sunday:today should go pretty damn good. im going to this company picnic thing in fairfield, i go every year, and its always hella fun, them im going over to Lins house, and were just gonna um....hang out. lol! only Lin will get this. and ya. even though i have to do all my homework today, cause i felt so sucky yesterday, kinda blows. but ya. well im out cause ya. i dont feel like typing. peace!

2004-09-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

well i finally just got im! its like a freakin miracle! lol. ummmm. ya my screen name is vguardpunkv. simple. so ya. well school was boring, and colorguard sucked today. it was way too hot! but ya. im gonna be goin' now cause i gotta finish some hw, and im tired, so BYE!

2004-09-15T01:25:00.000-07:00

well. its almost 12:30 and i just got out of the shower. crazy. i have 2 wake up at 6 in the mornin' and im gonna be freakin' tired!!! oh well. but ya. thank goodness its a common planning day tomorrow. i mean.... today! lol! well i guess i better br grttin' to bed. Ill talk to you people "today" at school. peace!

2004-09-14T17:41:00.000-07:00

hey people. well today was A LOT better than yesterday. i had a math test, and i think i did ok. um... im swithching to a different instrument in band, my whole english class just chilled for a whole period(even the teacher!), tomorrow is a common planning day, and i have absolutely no homwork. well, almost none. close enough. well. im out cause i have a headache, and ya. oh! and i have a myspace.its like a blog, but it has hella more info. im just gonna put my link on here. so ya. peace!

2004-09-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

hey. wat up yall. um...school was good today for the most part. colorguard kinda sucked though. i kept screwin' up cause i wasnt focused and erin kept yellin' at me. then my mom got hella mad cause she wanted me to go straight to Lins house, but Nani had to go to the mall, and when i called my mom she got hella mad, and told Nani to take me back to Vanden. so Nani dropped me off there, and i went inside right when i got there, then i went outside and sat on the curb for like a half an hour. it sucked. i was like tha last person there, and i mean the LAST. it was kinda crazy. but now im home, and i dont really have that much homework, so ya. school should be good tomorrow. im gonna go eat dinner. will talk to you people later. peace.

2004-09-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

well. yesterday was freakin' awesome! the Phat Phest was hella fun. it was me, Brad, Michelle, Whitney, Lin, Marissa, Mike C, Nathan, and one of their friends. it was so cool. Brad left at 6, and then Mike, Nathan, and their friend left a little while after that. so it was just me, Michelle and Whitney. we were at the very front of the stage when Gooser came on and it was awesome! then another cool band came on. i forgot their name though. we got Seth and Daniel from Gooser to autograph our picture we got of them. then Michelle had to leave, so i had to leave. and it kinda sucked cause my dad said i could stay until 10, but i left at 8. it was all good though. i had tons of fun. and today im goin' to a huge block party in fairfield. but i dont wanna go with just my parents and my sister. i wanna bring someone!!!! so im not a loner. oh well. sometimes i am anyway! lol! well, im gonna go. im out. peace!

2004-09-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

hey people. well, i stayed up till 12:45 last night cleaning my room, so im kinda tired. but not really. um...im about to go and watch Brad bowl on base, and Lin is suppossed to go to keep me company. then were goin' to the Phat Phest and that should be fun. were not stayin' the whole time though. were gonna leave at 7. and ya. a 9 hour concert is a long time. trust me. ive been to one, and your really tired after its over. sooooo were planin' to leave early. and Michelle cant stay the whole time anyway. so everything will work out. and um...... im gonna go finish gettin' ready. so peace! im out.

2004-09-10T17:03:00.000-07:00

hey! im about to leave to concord to go and eat dinner with my family, and another family. who the heck goes all the way to concord to eat dinner? lol! wierdos. anyway. tomorrow im goin' on base to watch Brad bowl, and then were goin' to the Phat Phest! yes!!! its like freakin 9 hours long. whoop whoop! and then on sunday im going to this HUGE block part on sunday in fairfield. that should be fun. so ya. like i said on my blog. my weekend is pretty packed. but it doesnt ever feel like friday. it feels like wednesday, or sumthin. i dunno why though? oh well. ummmm. i gotta go cause were like leavin right now. so Ill talk to you people later! chow!

2004-09-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

hey. cant talk much. my mom wants me to go back to bed. i was hella tired today. i went to bed at 6:30, and just woke up. school was slow today. tomorrow should be fun though, cause im goin' to that thing at the creekwalk, so ya! well thats about it. i gotta go aand finish homwork. so Ill talk to you people later! bye!

2004-09-06T18:49:00.000-07:00

hey. i tried to post when i was at Lins house, but it wouldnt let me do it. last night was freakin' awesome! me, Brad, Zack, and Lin all went to chuck e cheese, then we all came home to Lins house and raced down the street. i was on Brads back and Lin was on Zacks back. we all really almost did faceplants into the street. but it was soooooo fun! then we all layed under the stars. it was awesome. you just had to be there. juice really did come out Lins nose, and i almost pissed my pants a number of times! lol! i played guitar, we all played air hockey and stuff for hecka long, and it was great. the night ended great for me, and well as for Lin.....her night was good too. today, Nani drove me and Lin to pick up Brad and Zack, and then we went to the park. we walked to Raleyes, and stayed there for a while, then we all went back to Lins house and played air hocky AGAIN lol! and just hung out until we had to go home. it was awesome. but towards the end of the day, i started to get really tired, and i missed my room and my house! and my kitty! well, this post is long. im really super duper happy, and......im out! peace!

2004-09-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

hey! just woke up a little while ago. um.... i have no clue what im gonna do today. i tried to write a song on my guitar at 12 in the morning, and it didnt work. lol! its not that easy at 7 in the morning either! but hey. when i feel like it, Ill write it. like i said. yesterday was so much fun. i had a great time. especially when i was at mcdonalds. quarters! funny. anyway. i might go to rosaeville today, but i dunno. im gonna ask Michelle if she wants to bring her drums over to my house so we can practice over here, and wont get in trouble. my parents said its ok. but we'll see. alrighty, well im gonna go get ready. ok, my mom just told me that i am going to rosevill so Ill talk to ya guys when i get back. bye!

2004-09-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

hey. well today was a lot of FUN!!! went to the movies, and then went to starbucks, and then to mcdonalds with Brad, Anthony, Jessica, and Nathan. it was hella fun. im not really that tired though, but the movie was so stupid it was actually funny. so i stayed awake. um..... i dont have any plans for the weekend, so ya. im gonna go cause im gonna go write a song on my guitar. will talk to you people later. bye!

2004-09-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

Finally its friday!!! and hopefully all the people that are goin' 2 the movies are gonna be able 2 go cause i really wanna get out of the house. ya. i had a math test and a science test today. they werent hard at all. but i did get 10 points marked down i english cause i didnt have a freakin' book to read. it sucked. but anyway. i have hella homework over the weekend, but there isnt any school on monday, so ya, that helps. hey.....that means we only have colorguard 1 day of the week! i gotta go eat sumthin cause im hungry. and.....i will talk to you people later that are goin' to the movies, and those of you that arent..... Illl still talk to ya later! bye!

2004-09-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

today was a lot better. a lot better! i went to golden west for back to school night and got to see all my old teachers. it was cool. um..... i told my mommy i didnt have homework, but i still gotta do sum of it cause i forgot. freakin' Jose wont stop callin me! i told him that i was grounded! oh well. whatever. i cant wait until tomorrow. friday.....finally! and no school on monday! whoop whoop! well. i gotta go finish my homework. my moms tellin' me to go. so i will talk to you people tomorrow! bye.

2004-09-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

well. today was interesting. i got grounded. my locker got stolen. i forgot to get a paper signed. colorguard was boring. i got in a huge fight with my mom. and i cant talk on the phone for 2 days. well, hows that for havin' a good day! but anyway. im doin' a lot better now, and me and my mommy just needed to realease some anger. and i did so by throwing my fan while it was on, but all it hit was a cardboard box! lol! but ya. i had this template a while ago, and i couldnt find it...then i remembered that i saved it to my computer. well. ive had a long day and im tired. so i will write later. peace out. bye!

2004-08-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

hey. well, what can i say? highschool is a lot better than i thought it would be. its kinda like i cant wait for it to get more exciting for some reason. but, i am enjoying it now. and its only the second day of school and theres already drama in our group! thats us for ya. i cant really talk that much right now cause i gotta make some phone calls and finish my himework. but im glad its a common planning day cause i get to sleep in. well im gonna go cause i am really tired too. peace out! bye!

2004-08-29T17:37:00.000-07:00

hey! wats up people. um.... practice was good today. Brad and Danny came to listen to us. it was fun. then i got really tired. i stayed up late last night. Michelle and Casey think i have an eating disorder cause i didnt eat for a whiole day yesterday, and i didnt even realize it until about 7 at night. but i wasnt even hungry? anyway. i guess im not scared to go to school tomorrow, im just a littke nervous. i already forgot the combo. to my lock for my locker, and luckily my sister remembered. i have no clue where to go for any of my classes, and ya. but im also really excited too. well. im gonna go sleep or sumthin cause i have a headache. will post about how school was tomorrow. bye!

2004-08-29T01:02:00.004-07:00

hey, im feelin' much better now. maybe cause its 1 in the morning lol! but ya.....im gonna go to bed now. Ill post tomorrow!bye!

2004-08-29T01:02:00.003-07:00

hey, im feelin' much better now. maybe cause its 1 in the morning lol! but ya.....im gonna go to bed now. Ill post tomorrow!bye!

2004-08-29T01:02:00.002-07:00

hey, im feelin' much better now. maybe cause its 1 in the morning lol! but ya.....im gonna go to bed now. Ill post tomorrow!bye!

2004-08-29T01:02:00.001-07:00

hey, im feelin' much better now. maybe cause its 1 in the morning lol! but ya.....im gonna go to bed now. Ill post tomorrow!bye!

2004-08-29T01:02:00.000-07:00

im feelin' much better now. maybe cause its 1 in the morning! lol! um ya.....im goin' to bed. and Ill post tomorrow! bye!

2004-08-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

im not gonna write that much on here. but i will on my Xanga. um..... went to the party and to the dance. some parts were great, others were ok. well. i dunno what else 2 say. so im gonna go write on my Xanga.

2004-08-28T02:32:00.000-07:00

Haha. im actually updating at 2:30 in the morning!!!! ok, im not even tired. but im gonna go 2 bed. so later!

2004-08-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY!!!!! we heard back from the guy we gave our demo cd to...... AND HE WANTS US TO GO DOWN TO L.A. AND RECORD!!!!!! yay!!!! were almost there. workin' our way to fame. we will get there. and when we do. we will give shout outs to each and every one of our friends for supporting us in what we do! alright. im hella tired cause i stayed up all night at Michelles house yesterday. so ys. Ill post on my Xanga later. peace out people!

2004-08-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

hey. im back from shopping and i did get some really cool things. ya. a new pair of old school Vans. awesome clothes from hot topic mainly. im feeling kinda down for some reason. dunno why. um..... hopefully our band will go far. cause our demo cd is being listened to today by that one guy i told you about. ya. we hear back from him today. so hopefully it will be good. um. like i said. i dont feel that great so ya. whatever. bye.

2004-08-24T10:17:00.000-07:00

alright. i got my schedule. duh. so did everyone else. but here it is.

1. PE-DePonte(NOOOOOO!!!!!!!)
2. Integ. sci 1-Trefz
3. Latin-Lundy(yay!)
4. Band-The Tipsta'!
5. Algebra 1- McIntyre
6. English-Duggan
7. the 6th period thing
8. marching band(colorguard)

and thats about it. i cannot belive i have mr deponte for freakin pe. and to top that off, i have it first period!!!! damn!! but i did get latin. thats cool. everyone says its hard but i dont care. i really wanted it. ya. so if you have any of my classes just post a comment on my Xanga or whatever. ok! :) will post later. chow!

2004-08-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

hey. i just learned how to put videos on here. it kinda covers part of my blog, whatever. its cool. and ya. i went and saw the movie open water, and it was the worst movie ive ever seen in my entire olife. me and my mom almost got up and walked out. the ending sucked, and so did the filming. it looked like someone filmed through threre video camera. it sucked!!! then the sound was screwed too. like for a half an hour of hte movie there was this tapping sound coming from the speakers, and it was sooooooo annoying!! then it finally stopped. it was sooooooo bad!!! and such a waste of time and money. no one see it. its so stupid!!! ok. bye!

2004-08-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

woke up a little while ago. gonna get ready for the carwash later. but for like 45 minutes, ive just been surfing through other peoples blogs. its really actually fun. cause all you have to do is click next blog at the top of the page, and it just like takes you to all different types of cool blogs and stuff. i foun some pretty neat ones while i was looking. i get bored a lot. lol! and i cant play my guitars cause my sister is still sleeping. damn. thats the only thing i really ever o. maybe i can try to put pictures of em on here. cause i gotta test out the picture thing so i can learn how to put em in here. im gonna go now. will post later. chow.

2004-08-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

k, i just posted a long post on my xanga, so this one will be short. i just got home from the creekwalk, an it was HELLA fun.[as usaul!] but ya. i just had a great time tonight. it was me, Brad, Zack,Casey, and Baca. it was awesome. hopefully we can go for the last time next week. it should be cool. well. i g2g. im gettin' sleepy. luv you all. peace out.

2004-08-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

ok, today was DEFINATELY the best day of band camp. even though colorguard didnt even do stretches or pow wow to waste time and only went straight to the work kinda sucked, but the unity games were hella fun! especially tug-a-war. it was awesome. around 6 i have to go to that dinner thing or whatever, and then me and Casey are going to the creekwalk. whoop whoop! we should see hella people there cause i guess like hella people are goin' so ya. it should be fun. and on like monday i gonna go see the exorcist! yay! scary. ok, well. im getting bored so i will see all you people that are goin' to the dinner thing tonight. so peace out.

2004-08-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

hey, band camp was a little better today. except i got yelled at again by Erin. but whatever. its life. were human right? but ya. anyway. i might do drumline and play one of the bass drums. it should be pretty cool. but i still dont know if i gonna be able to do it yet. but ya. um about going to see the movie the exorcist. im kinda havin second thoughts about it. i mean, i am like the biggest scary movie freak ever, but uh, my mom kinda told me this story about my cousin who got really sick in the hospital, and how they think the devil was inside of him, and like my mom said this movie is so scary, cause its about shit that could like actually happen for real, and to hear that it like happened to some guy that is suppossedly my cousin or a really good friend, really really really scares me. cause my mom said it could happen and like ya. i guess its true. oh, and by the way, when he was like done throwing up green shit[like in the first movie of the exorcist] his wife threw some cross or sumthin around his neck, and right when it hit his neck, he died instantly. so ya. it kinda freaked me out. but ya. im gonna probobly end up goin to see it anyway. ok this is a long post so im gonna end it. bye!

2004-08-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

ya. i went to the mall with Ryan M. and Ryan W. but i was hella late getting there cause my uncle wanted to eat at some Greek restaurant like over in Fairfield or sumthin, and im like, ok? and on our way there, i just knew that i was never gonna make to the mall on time after we were finished eating, and so i was kinda pissed, but then i walk in the door, and look up, and guess who our server was? Channing! i was like, you work here? an she said, why do you think i left practice early? it was hella funny. i go into some little Greek restaurant that i didnt even know existed, and its like hella small to, and i just walk in and Channing's there! it was funny. but uh....ya. guard camp is over, but band camp started today, and it was ok. but i like colorguard camp better though. but the best thing about band camp is that i get to see all of my friends that i havent seen for hella long over the summer, and talk to them and stuff. it was cool. i really hurt my back though, and i feel like im gonna totally collapse sometimes. it sucks. but its life, and i got to go to all the practices cause if i miss. then ya. trouble that i dont need. ive been feeling kinda depressed now and then lately. like.... im so lonely at times. and i know i have all my friends, but...ya. i mean im happy and stuff all the time, but then suddenly i just start to feel a little sad, and i start to cry. its not a good feeling, and i dont know how to make it go away. soon i hope. it will just like, leave. but i guess its just like a "phase" or whatever. i dunno. im kinda like really tired cause i did a lot today, so ya. Ill probably be up all night anyway, but i might as well try and go to sleep. will talk to you people later.

your homie "V" [for Vanden. its my letter...]

2004-08-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

changed my template. i had this one a long time ago, and the cheshire cat is like one of my favorite characters. hope you like!

2004-08-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

yo. my sister didnt go to marine world and i went over to michelles house, but we didnt record. ya. i dont like Brian G. and when i said i did, it was a waste of my time. whatever. i dunno if i like anybody else. not anyone in our group that is. im gonna go party with my friend Elana and watch movies with all my people tonight over at my uncles house. usually we go over there and party cause he lives by himself and we just have hella fun. im suppossed to go hang with Danny tomorrow, but i tried to call him and his phone line was busy, and i have to go over to michelles tomorrow anyway cause we are gonna actually record a cd. im bored, and my mom made me clean all day today. but for some reason i enjoyed it. other than that i was on the computer all day. went to the creekwalk last night, and it was like the best one i went to, cause EVERYONE was there. well, almost everone. a lot of friends from school that i hadent seen over the summer. but the whole time it was mostly just me, Lin, Baca, Zack, and Brad. we had HELLA much fun!!!! it was so cool. we started to run through all the people that were dancing and i just hella pushed Lin into some old fat guy, and she completely bounced off him and hit some other guy. hahaha!!! we had so much fun. it was awesome. ya. i think im gonna go now cause i gotta go get ready. actually....i am ready. im wearing my pj pants, with my casper top. its usually what i wear to bed. but i dont care. its comfy. and i like it. its really nice outside. im really gonna go this time so ya, BYE!!!!!!

2004-08-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

today is my last official day of just my colorguard camp. then next week i have to go to camp again with the band and drumline. the ID line is doing really good for only the 5 day being together. i think were gonna have a good year. but anyway. my sister is going to marine world today, and im going to record over Micheles house. g2g bye.

2004-08-10T16:21:00.000-07:00

whatever.....i talked to Lin and Danny today, and ya. i told them that Brian didnt like me but they wont listen. he doesnt guys. just belive me. he doesnt. dannys all lke, no he oes, he just oesnt know it yet. like what the hell is that suppossed to mean? your gonna try and force him to like me? ya. i dunno why your trying to make him like me danny cause it wont work, and even if he found out that i liked him, he STILL wouldnt like me. trust me. maybe he did like me while i was going out with you, but of course i didnt like him cause duh? i was dating you. but i just really wish that he liked me now instead of then. if he even did like me. and Lin brought up you moving today, an i had it out of my mind for the longest time. in fact, i totally forgot you were gonna move Danny. and then she told me she was gonna give you a special present. her rifle. and i was just like. omg. what the hell am i suppossed to give him? and it just made me feel so bad though. now i really ont know what im gonna get you Danny. will have to do some thinking. chow....

2004-08-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

ya...just got back from camping and it was alot of fun. and danny if your reading this...BRIAN DOESNT LIKE ME!!! well, maybe he does...whatever. i dunno. maybe. just maybe. i wonder if he knows that i like him? like im gonna tell it to his face. ok. gonna go now. will post later. ciao.

2004-08-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

im talking 2 lin right now!!! hi lin!!!! colorguard camp!!!! yay!!!! whoop whoop!!!!

2004-08-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

hey. michelle just got here. but we gotta wait for my moms stuf that got lat on the plane when she flew to Dallas. ya. im tired. i was up till 12 and woke up like 10 minutes ago. i still gotta talk to Danny before i go. or im gonna talk to him when i get up threre. ok. i gotta go finish packing. ciao for now.bye

2004-07-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

ya. bored. danny called at 10 this morning. i called at 11, but his mom said he was in the shower and that she would have him call me back when he got out.....guess hes still in the shower! j/p! :) um....... im about to go call him right now though to see what he needed. goin campin tomorrow with Mish. fun fun fun. for a week. will miss my friends. k gonna go. ciao.
p.s. Danny if your reading this....HE DOESNT!!!!

2004-07-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

ya. just got back from marine world and it was like the best time ive had all year long. it was freakin awesome. had so much fun. but ya. about to go to a meeting for soccer. i love soccer. been playin for 11 years!!!!!! amazing aint it. thats a lot. cool. this year i go co-ed so i play with guys in my team, and against guys. fun fun fun. partys at 6:00 so i better go. ciao!!!!

2004-07-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

hey! i couldnt finish my last post but whatever. this ones gonna be sort. partied at caseys all day. then we went to the movies. came home and watched tv. going to marine world with mish and her tomorrow. im happy as can be!!! its great!!!! ciao!!!

2004-07-24T09:39:00.001-07:00

wtf???? i was feeling good. even when i woke up. it was like a freakin miracle. then, to get to this blog, i go onto the blog that danny doesnt use anymore and i just click on the blogger heading. well. i kinda scrolled down a little. and i ended up reading the first line, and only the first line of the poem that danny wrote for me, and AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got like the worst feeling in the world!!!! it sucked!!!! i hate it!!!! but whatever!!! i kinda like someone else. just a little though. i wouldnt even call it "liking" its not even that much. and i didnt force myself to try and like this person. i just kinda had a couple little feelings for him. but i try to think about htis person to try and make me happy, and i was. then i saw the poem and i thought of this person, but it didnt work!!!!!! ig2

2004-07-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

2004-07-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

ok. me and lin actually figured out a for us to hang out at the creekwalk together. and then like boom! bazooka joe! i drive around for an hour with my mommy and i cant find her. i got out of the car and walked through a gajillion people and went to the park wher she first wanted to meet but she wasnt there!!!!! so i had to come home, and i dont know what happened? she was proly lookin for me for the whole time. she doesnt have a cell phone, so i couldnt reach her. but i ont blame her, cause neither do i. i was all happy that we actually got to hang out. but shit happens. miscommunication. damn thats a long word when you write it! i really need to call Danny. but wtf. what am i suppossed to say? everyhting i want to tell him? NO!!!! i dont think so. hfjkhvjjshzflsa g!!!!!!! when i get mad......i hit the keyboard. whatever. Ill call him when i want to. i really dont care. peace out. chow. c ya. ciao.

2004-07-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

ya. goin' over Michelles house for the third time again. suppossed to hang out with Lin today, and i really hope i get to. we need to have one of those "serious" talks. whatever. im the one that wants to talk, but it just sucks sometimes. me michelle and casey are sounding really good, and vona said she could probobly still do the singing, so our band should start to sound even better! it makes me more happy to know that we all have worked so hard to get to this point and ive had....we've ALL had a lot of support from everyone. it just hurts knowing that one of my biggest supporters isnt there anymore. well, i guess hes there, just not like he used to be. whatever. i had a shitty morning, and i woke up pounding on my pillow, cause this whole situation is driving me crazy. i thought everything was gone, but no, the only place im really happy and where no one can say or do shit to me is when im sleeping. im peaceful there. off in my own little world. but right before i go to sleep, right before i absolutley know im about to be happy in my sleep. i think to myself everynight. i have to look forward to a morning of hell when i wake up. cause i know that thats when all the feelings run continuosly through my head. yep. thats when i get the worst of it. soooooooooo. thats what i wake up to every morning. and it sucks knowing that thats whats gonna happen when i wake up. i mean think about it. knowing your gonna feel like shit every morning when you wake up? ya. not a good feeling. the only time im really happy outa the house is when im with my friends. or unless theyre at my house. ya. you get it. im gonna go call michelle. ciao.

2004-07-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

hey. case and mish are over my house right now. they both slept over. i was actually happy for once. we had fun. we might go to this fair thing and ya. to look at caseys art and pictures. it should be fun. um.... caseys talking to her mom rihgt now and she says she doesnt want to take us to it so shes trying to convince her to, but i dont think its working. ok, so i guess were not gonna go now. damn. that sucks. but were gonna have practice at michelles house again. i was actually happy for once and it felt good. i still woke up 4 times in the middle of the night though. whatever. guess were gonna go to michelles later. ok, im bored. gonna go now.ciao.

2004-07-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

Manda. if you really wanna read the main post on here. scroll down to june 29. i wrote like right after me and Danny broke up. its the longest posyt in the world and takes like 10 minutes to read, but its worth it. some of the other ones after that are me talking to him. but the others are mainly me writing to myself. you dont have to read all those if ya dont want to. its just me talking like im crazy! j/p! ok, talk to ya tomorrow! ciao!

2004-07-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

Life really fuckin' sucks. Lin is with her dad, but im happy she go to see him. Mish is with Whitney. Manda, Lily and Anthony are together. Brian is in pismo, and Caseys phone line is busy. so there is absolutely no one to talk to. im gonna see if Casey can spend the night though. i really need someone to talk to before i fucking go crazy. i really wish everything is how it used to be. but these last few weeks have been hell. and i know the ones coming up will be too. and the ones after that too. except when i go camping with Mish and my familia. seriously, i know it sounds crazy but for the i billionth time...i need to talk to Lindsey!!!! i hurt so bad i cant do anything. i need to talk to Danny. but im not going to until i talk to Lin first. for certain reasons. but whatever. i want someone to talk to. hasnt anyone noticed that like ever night ive invited someone to sleep over my house or for me to hang out at theirs? thats because i cant be stand to be alone. it hurts so bad to lay there at night and know that no one is there for me when i wake up. at my house or not. whatever. life sucks. and is so unfair. ciao.

2004-07-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

ok, like i said if you come here. post on my tag board. why? i dunno? im bored and the cable is out, and i ran out of songs to play on my guitar,and i know that Lin is sleeping. soooooooo. whatever. my parents left to go to this meeting at the church for my, as Danny would say, pinata( i cant do the thing over the n.) with a k. but really its a q anyway. ya, so im here watching my sister andcousin. and i really really wish that i could go over Lin's today, cause i really need to talk before i freakin' EXPLODE!!! its all bottled up inside me and Danny told me that it was worse if you kept it there, and yes, hes right. but who the hell can i talk to right now? no one. except Lindsey who is sleeping at this moment. i mean writing it down helps get it out, but who the hell is reading it and understanding it? no one comes here. and i really dont care if anyone does, but i mean. its just like im saying it right back to myself. jesus! someone help me! i really wish i could just call Danny and tell him....well i cant tell him....FUCK!!! what the fuck ever!!!!! im not calling Danny! I WONT! ok, now im yelling at myself. not out loud. but on the inside. which hurts even more. my blog makes me feel worse. but its how i feel. sorry. ciao!

2004-07-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ya, i didnt sleep last night AGAIN! it is really starting to bug me. i went to bed at lke 10:30. then woke up at 11:45. then i woke up at 2 in the morning, then at 3:45. then at 4:20, and couldnt even force myself to go back to bed. i dont get any sleep at night. and when i wake up. the only thing i think about is danny, and what Lin told me. it sucks, and its keeping me wake every night! i cant stop myself though. what the hell am i suppossed to do? time will just have to take its course,and belive me. its gonna be a long one. i thought about the promisei made to Danny at Mandys party. and ya. of course i have to keep it. why? because of love. strong love that he might not have for me, but i have it for him. its still there, and thats whats keepin me from not doing anything totally stupid. i wont. i never will. ever. i dpn t break promises. im gonna go now. ciao.

2004-07-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

my cousin is spending the night, and tomorrow im going swimming at my aunts house. sumthin to look forward to. i just got done making these dirt cup things with my brother. its like choc. pudding with cookies and gummy worms. after what me and danny talked about on the phone. some biohazard shit, it kinda grossed me out. but it was good. not like i really ate a lot of it. im not really into chocolate stuff. im bored. gonna go rent a movie. wish i could talk to Lin. shes probobly sleepin though. Ill call her tomorrow. everyday from now on im gonna right on this thing so i can get my feelings out. it helos in a way. like i said. god im so freakin lonely. cummin homw from my cousins house, i was in the car and i was singing to the all american rejects, and everyhting was good, until a thought or shoul i say "memory" popped into my head about me and Danny, and it just instantly made me sad. then i was sad the whole way home. whatever. life fucking sucks:) aint that just a damn ray of sunshine. ok. ciao.

2004-07-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

just got home. my friend that i was going to say goodbye to before he left totally blew me off, and was like oh, im leaving in like 20 minutes sorry, you can e-mail me though. and i was just like sure. whatever. i feel like shit, and i really miss danny. cant get over this situation. want to die. but dont want to break my promise that i made to danny the first night i looked into his eyes. ok, this post is getting to painful for me to write. i miss danny. ciao.

2004-07-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

yep, couldnt sleep last night. stayed up till 4 in the morning. tried to fall asleep to music, but it just kept me awake. the cd has like 21 songs on it and it played like 3 times. whatever. i woke up at 9 this morning, and really feel like crap. im about to go see one of my friends thats moving that im never gonna get to see ever again. hes moving to washington, then hes gonna live in Virginia with his wife. damn. everything applies to Danny doesnt it. anything i say. anything i do. anywhere i go. and people wonder why i cant get over him. ya. i really dont think i will ever completely get over this whole situation. life really fuckin sucks. yes it does:) i got really mad and i dropped my blue guitar on purpose. i figured since it was already cracked, what the hell? i needed to realease my anger in some weird freaking way. its not like i fucking completely broke the damn thing. just a little crack. whatever. peace out people with too much time. ciao!

2004-07-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

ok. well life sucks sometimes. everything is going really good at home. but im having problem outa the house. whatever. Lin was supposses to spend the night tonight, but i guess her mom said she couldnt. i really wish she was here right now though. i really need to talk to someone. i had my hopes up. but maybe tomorrow night she can come over. i feel like im gonna faint. ever since i tried writing this song on my guitar to day for someone, ive had this really bad headache, and it wont go away, and ive already taken medicine. god i freakin wish i Lindsey was over my house right now. im not gonna be able to sleep tonight. cause i like slept uring the day for like 3-4 hours. ont ask me why either. its cause im really stressed out. i like writing to myself. it feels lke im writing to someone inside me though. kinda weid but i like it. no one reads this stupid thing anymore. an if they o they must have a lot of time on their hands. whatever i really could care less who the hell reads this. i really need a vacation. i cannot wait until me and Michelle go camping. less then 2 weeks. YES!!! no drama. but that doesnt mean im still not gonna be sad. but fuck that. its my time to have hella fun with my best friend and my family out where no one can call or anything. an i wont have to worry cause i wont have to know what the hell is going on. but i already know whats gonna happen. i got it all planned out, and yes. it will happen. i already told Lin what i thougt. well, actually she told me too. whatever. she knows what im taliking about. gonna go watch tv. ciao.

2004-07-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

i just talked to Lin a little while ago, and we had a very serious talk. it made everything worse, but. some things you have to know, even if you dont want to. she told me some stuff and i just wanted to cry my heart out and die. cry out my tears of anger that are inside of me that i cant let out. im getting the worst of everything. life is so unfair. i hate it. Lin is gonna help me through this. but after everything happens, im still not gonna be cured of all the pain that was inside of me. some of it will always be there. forever. i hurt. i hurt so bad its like i can feel it tearing me apart on the inside. i feel like i died for a little while. and then came back to a life of hell. but really... ive been alive this whole time. pain. such an amazing word...

2004-07-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

ok, so i actually convinced myself to talk to danny, cause ya know, i just didnt know what to....ya. whatever. i was in the shower when he called back, but of course i got out to talk to him. then we talked for like an hour. if you think about it, thats kinda a long time. anyways. i told him about how i hurt those couple of days, and i told him that i was finding ways to make me happy. but um, i was happy until it like really hit me. last night. i just hate it. all these feelings wont go away! the feelings that first hit me the couple of days after we split. and i think they hurt more this time, cause i know that were farther apart. i was laying in my bed half asleep,. barely awake, and i just thought about something i havent thought about in a long time. i htought about every kiss. i know it might seem like a lot, but every single one of them came into my mind, and i hadent even thought about all of them when we first split. it hurt, so much. i remembered every single one, and i just couldnt get them out of my head i just wanted to kill myself! not literally. but then other things came into mind, im just going crazy thinking about them right now. ahhhhhhhh!!!! everytime i went over his house, everytime he came over mine. laying next to each other in our beds whether it was mine or his. who the fuck cares. we layed on his freakin' driveway for christ sake! i hate myself!!! i cant handle this. it sucks. everyone thinks its just so freakin' easy to like someone else. NO! its not! and i wont force myself to. thats just a completely stupid thing to do! i need to talk. to someone that understands. but really only a couple people do. i hurt. more than ever. and ive said that before. those exact words. but when you read those words this time, just imagine more. more pain. because its true. and i dont want ANYONE to feel bad for me cause thats not what im getting at. thats one thing i hate. when people feel sorry for me. i have to do this on my own. or maybe with a little help. i have to get through this one way or another. its just gonna take time. a lot of time. why am i even writing this. no one reads. it. but i cant keep it bottled up inside me, so instead of talking to people and telling it to there faces, why cant i just write my feelings here, where noone really cares. except me. oh well. whatever. it helps in a way to write everything down this way, and not let anyone be able to find out unless they read this stupid blog. ok. gonna go now. my little things that make me a little happy seem to help for a little while, so im gonna try and go do that right now. ciao.